not the case this last week.
maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but i can't count the number of times i have cried over my children's behavior, or prayed for my own self control and patience lately.
go ahead and call CPS on me, but i switched the door handle in their room so the lock is on the outside. just so i can lock the boy in time out.
he is trying my role as a mother more than ever. no obeying, no listening, no reasoning. this is why they call it the hardest job in the world. tonight at the dinner table, he {my almost 4 year old} stormed off with an angry face, folded arms and stomps. his teenage years flashed before my eyes and i lost it. bawling. what a wreck i am. i feel out of control and emotionally out of tune with him.
don't let her fool you. she's not as sweet as she looks.
so, after my appointment tomorrow morning, my week calms down and i am re-devoting myself as a mother. giving it my all and all the consistancy in my being. this has to end so i can love on these babes as much as possible before #3 comes. i can do this.
i CAN do this.
I CAN DO THIS!
right?
5 comments:
you can do this!
Oh the hormones of pregnancy! Not to diminish your feelings at all... but I really do think we are always much too hard on ourselves. You are a wonderful mother! We all are allowed bad days and sometimes there are times in our lives where we're rocking the parenting gig... and other times where we just have to "coast" to keep our heads above water. :o) It's all good. Sometimes my kids are NUTS and I'm the crazy mom in the neighborhood (for real!... hee hee!) and I have to remind myself constantly that I am raising big spirits in little bodies. But what does offer me a lot of comfort at those times when I'm feeling the most inadequate is to remember that Heavenly Father made the perfect match when he sent His spirits to us. He knew that putting those specific spirits in our stewardship... that we alone were the one's that could teach and help those spirits more then anyone else. Likewise, I feel like these specific spirits He sent to me have taught me more then I could ever teach them. It sounds heavy... but it offers me so much comfort. He has faith in you. We have faith in you. And we are all blessed to know you! Hang in there girl!
-Jessica
And PS... much like my above rant... (Ha!)... when I was coming to the end of Milo's pregnancy I was completely and emotional basket case. Besides the bed rest and feelings of failure as a mother... my anxiety was out of control. I was in the middle of a huge rant to Nate about yada yada yada, and my fears of blah blah blah... and he just quietly sat there listening to me. I had to stop in the middle of everything and just start bawling. (It makes me giggle now for some reason!) I looked at him and said, "It's exhausting feeling this neurotic!!!"
I think pregnancy is beautiful what it does to a woman... including the potentially magnificent train wreck of emotions we go through. LOL!
I have a friend who always reminds me to "stand in my majesty". That is to say, treat and love myself like the Queen that I am... in the most literal and spiritual sense. It's a great reminder.
For sure you can and will!
Thanks to Facebook, I just discovered your blog and I love it. I too have a family blog and you're welcome to read it but it's private so you'll have to send me your email address to get an invite. (camialane@gmail.com)
~Cami Evans
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