Sunday, November 8, 2009

consider this a book review

i have had a really. hard. week.

note to self:
do not attempt to potty train your first born son
during the same week
that you are switching anti-depressants.

i have never cried so much about the stupidest things ever.

boy peed his pants.
a car won't let me in the other lane
forgot my ID at the grocery store
boy peed his pants again
we have no money
i'm dizzy
husband looked at me wrong
my kitchen knife won't cut the squash
my headache
boy won't nap for me

i hate depression, and it's taken me years to realize that i truly suffer from it.
but watcha gonna do?
get on some good meds, that's what.

i did however finish this book this week,
 and it lifted me out of emotional craziness for an hour each night.

the red tent

if you are a woman, you need to read it.

in short, it describes how women in biblical times spent their menstruating days in a red tent.
(maybe this is why God made women's cycles emerge together 
after being around each other for a while?)
these woman truly celebrated their periods as a sign of fertility and womanhood.
they spent three days in the tent relaxing, gossiping, and eating.
it was a break from their laboring lives.

as i started my period today after this week from hormone hell, i almost cried again, but then i thought about how grateful i am for these crazy hormones that heighten and drop my emotions like a roller coaster.
i am a woman. i bleed for a purpose. and that is to give life.

now if only i could take three days off to eat, play, and chat with my sisters.
only instead of a red tent, can we go to a spa?
who's with me?


LollyGirl said...

ooooh, i'll have to get me that book!! thanks for sharing.

i turn into a semi-crazy person just before and a few days into my red tent days!! that would right now. right in the middle of all the packing/moving/primary program/husband starting a new job out of town for the next two weeks/ chaos! thank goodness for pizza my heart nights. i need lots of those. i'm going again tomorrow night. ;)

Jessica said...

wow, thanks for this.
i have been pushing my depression out of my mind, making myself believe i dont have it. but i do. and its hitting me hard right now. with a new baby and mark joining the national guard and possibly leaving for boot camp, leaving me with three children, one a newborn. its hitting me. i would lvoe to hear your story. did you just go see someone. was it hard for you to accept? im really going to have to read that bood. seems very interesting!

The Kodak Moments of our Life said...

I think every woman in my family has read that book, except for me. I actually bought it, just never found the time to read it. But I think I will now. Thanks for the review. And good luck with potty training. Thanks for opening up about your depression. I know I had post-part. depression after my first but I totally was in denial until now looking back. It was a really hard time.

The Lingo Family said...

best idea ever!!!!!!!

Variable said...

I feel you Shay.

Tara said...

Hang in there girl!!! You are amazing and you are doing the best you can with the great things, and not so great things God has given you.
I can relate on two things, having no money and potty training. I am potty training Tyler right now and I am at my wits end. Just tonight he pulled down his pants and pooped right on the floor. I guess it's progress that he took of his underwear, but can we make it to the potty next time, PLEASE!!
I love you and keep on keepin' on.

Dimples said...

I love that book and recommend it to all the women I know. I have potty trained three of my four children and honestly think that it is the WORST thing about motherhood. I throw away A LOT of unders as my kids call them. Yes...depression is...depressing...what more can be said? (Molly's sister)

Noel said...

I'm with you. Shall we go to a spa over christmas? I loved your post Shay. We can laugh at the things that make us cry...and it's pretty funny after the fact!

Molly Bea said...

Oh, I'm so glad you read it and SO glad you liked it....amazing huh!?!

Big hug to you girl...and remember as far as potty training goes it DOES end!!! even though it feels like it NEVER WILL!!!

Molly Bea said...

Oh, I'm so glad you read it and SO glad you liked it....amazing huh!?!

Big hug to you girl...and remember as far as potty training goes it DOES end!!! even though it feels like it NEVER WILL!!!

Christina said...

I'll have to get that book. I have had depression since I was 16, off and on. It's a miserable thing to deal with, and the hormones don't help at ALL. Hang in there and lots of hugs! Doing things for you- like quilting since you love it- is the most important thing you can do to fight it :)

Mamie said...

I really do miss you.